A Letter to Want-To-Be Fathers, Soon-To-Be Fathers and Fathers
by JAK guest blogger, Toby Mueller, of Raymond
Happy Father's Day to you:
To you want-to-be fathers: Are you sure you want to be a father? Are you ready for the toughest job you will ever have? Are you ready for more responsibility than you have ever had? I have to be honest with you: Some of you will fail. Just look at the number of kids living without a dad in their life. There is one word that you will need to live out, if you are to be an effective dad: COMMITMENT. Read More...
Commit to your responsibility as a father, as a husband and as a member of a community (church, school or peers). Commit to the fact that you can’t be a good father on your own. You will need help. You will need an example to follow. God, other dads you admire or even your own dad. Pick a mentor and dive into them. Ask questions, get feed back and humble yourself if you are serious about wanting to become a father.
Now you soon-to-be-dads: Congratulations! Are you scared yet? You should be. Soon you will responsible for a young, moldable life. I’m not talking about financial responsibility but being emotionally and spiritually responsible. Just because they will start walking and talking (and eventually driving and marrying) it does not let you off the hook with what you do with their hearts and spirit.
Right now you are probably not thinking about that as you are putting together a crib or trying to figure out how a Baby Bjorn fits on you. But children will change your life and also it should change the way you think (see above comments to want-to-be dads). You will feel things, and may have felt those things already, that are foreign to most men. Be ready to feel like crying, ready to be tender as they lay on your chest at 2 a.m. or having concern for why your child won’t stop crying. Not trying to scare you but prepare you.
Finally to current fathers: (Don’t tune out you want-to-be and soon-to-be fathers. This is important to you as well.) Don’t rest on past fatherhood success and don’t dwell on past fatherhood failures. Strive to improve on what you have done and change what you have not done. As you know, fatherhood is more than contributing DNA to a child. It is about being there, nurturing, guiding, loving, crying and dealing with situations that you never dreamed that you would be trying to solve.
You also know that being a father is not easy. You have been there as a want-to-be and then as a soon-to-be and now as a full fledged father. You have a wealth of information just waiting to be shared. Be a mentor to those men that I described above. They need someone who has “been there.” Oh, and don’t wait for them to ask you; ask them if they need a hand.
Happy Father’s Day and remember, Be Different.
Toby Mueller
Stay at Home Dad of two daughters and Blogger at A Different Spirit
"Parents, don't come down too hard on your children or you'll crush their spirits." Colossians 3:21 MSG
In addition to participating in the Just Add Kids community as a guest blogger, Toby is also our JAK Dads group administrator.
by JAK guest blogger, Toby Mueller, of Raymond
Happy Father's Day to you:
To you want-to-be fathers: Are you sure you want to be a father? Are you ready for the toughest job you will ever have? Are you ready for more responsibility than you have ever had? I have to be honest with you: Some of you will fail. Just look at the number of kids living without a dad in their life. There is one word that you will need to live out, if you are to be an effective dad: COMMITMENT. Read More...
Commit to your responsibility as a father, as a husband and as a member of a community (church, school or peers). Commit to the fact that you can’t be a good father on your own. You will need help. You will need an example to follow. God, other dads you admire or even your own dad. Pick a mentor and dive into them. Ask questions, get feed back and humble yourself if you are serious about wanting to become a father.
Now you soon-to-be-dads: Congratulations! Are you scared yet? You should be. Soon you will responsible for a young, moldable life. I’m not talking about financial responsibility but being emotionally and spiritually responsible. Just because they will start walking and talking (and eventually driving and marrying) it does not let you off the hook with what you do with their hearts and spirit.
Right now you are probably not thinking about that as you are putting together a crib or trying to figure out how a Baby Bjorn fits on you. But children will change your life and also it should change the way you think (see above comments to want-to-be dads). You will feel things, and may have felt those things already, that are foreign to most men. Be ready to feel like crying, ready to be tender as they lay on your chest at 2 a.m. or having concern for why your child won’t stop crying. Not trying to scare you but prepare you.
Finally to current fathers: (Don’t tune out you want-to-be and soon-to-be fathers. This is important to you as well.) Don’t rest on past fatherhood success and don’t dwell on past fatherhood failures. Strive to improve on what you have done and change what you have not done. As you know, fatherhood is more than contributing DNA to a child. It is about being there, nurturing, guiding, loving, crying and dealing with situations that you never dreamed that you would be trying to solve.
You also know that being a father is not easy. You have been there as a want-to-be and then as a soon-to-be and now as a full fledged father. You have a wealth of information just waiting to be shared. Be a mentor to those men that I described above. They need someone who has “been there.” Oh, and don’t wait for them to ask you; ask them if they need a hand.
Happy Father’s Day and remember, Be Different.
Toby Mueller
Stay at Home Dad of two daughters and Blogger at A Different Spirit
"Parents, don't come down too hard on your children or you'll crush their spirits." Colossians 3:21 MSG
In addition to participating in the Just Add Kids community as a guest blogger, Toby is also our JAK Dads group administrator.
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